PS:/ It's gonna be a boring post full of complaints. Please close this web if you're not interested. Komawoshumida :D Thanks!

I think I'm in a confused state of mind now. Like seriously.. I feel sick and tired of life now. I'm sometime like a lifeless zombie. For those who are reading my blog post, fear not. I'm not going to be like those childish kid who would think of suicide and ending a precious life. To me, life now is precious but it seems that my life is lack of something important. I choose not to keep it within myself because I hope readers and stalkers of my blog can help me to get back to the 'right path' of enjoying life.

Maybe ITE life isn't as fun as I thought it would be. Sometimes, I really regretted making the choice of going ITE instead of going Poly. Maybe engineering course isn't as bad as I thought it would be.. But anyway, since a choice is already made, I'll have to bear all the consequences of the choice I've made and choose for myself. First semester had past within a flash and I've been in ITE school for like half a year.. I must say I'm not really putting my effort in study thou, GPA of 3 isn't my ideal point. I'm aiming for like 3.8 or even better ad get into Poly with Pharmaceutical Course.. Or at least some similar course.

Well, under academics, I'll tried my best. However, on the other hand, Relationship?? I'm like not very into it for now. Being in a relationship is just too tiring for me for handle and it's under too much stress. Maybe, someday, I shall be able to be the old me after I've sorted out my thinking and feelings. But currently, I guess I've to put a full stop to it. I'm sorry but I know I'm selfish and I admit I didn't spare a thought for you. But, let me have sometime before doing any clarifications or explanations to you... At least, give me sometime.

Relation with my family? Should I say it was alright too? Everyday, I seems to be walking on thin ice. Afraid that I'll step on the everyday change boundaries set by my mom. I guess I'm used to this kind of feelings.. Mom and Dad can really be a pain sometimes. When you're alright, they can be so happy and we can laugh at whatever tiniest thing. But when they're on a cold war, everything is a total 360 degree change. I knew that dad had always been giving into mom. But seriously speaking, I sometimes think mom went too over board. She can get angry at the tiniest mistakes and locked herself up in the room for the whole day. Or she will just flare to her top at the slightest mistake I've made, like not pushing in the chair. Every outsiders think that I've a great and nice and funny family, but to me, everyday is just a mystery. It all depends on my mom's mood to decide on whether the day is a nice one or another 'dull' day. I sometimes hope that maybe my mom can change her attitude but well, the fact is, I inherit her attitude. Speechless, but my attitude is exactly similar to hers. Well, probably not that bad... So everyday, I shall pray hard that she's in the most positive mood then.

Relation with friends? Nothing much. I guess other than a few of my besties, schoolmates whom I can really sincerely get along with is like only a few. Too much Malays friend in ITE can be quite troublesome too. The fact that maybe of the culture difference or the language problems, I just can't simply get along well with them. Maybe normal chatting is okay, but definitely not like those heart to heart chatting for sure. Sometimes, it's just too difficult to translate my language to them. Anyway, I should say, ITE life is a great challenge to me. Be it with friend or studies or the teaching method.

Well, I guess a large stone had just being removed from my chest and I felt slightly better after writing all my thoughts and secrets on blog. I guess by blogging can really help me to relieve my stress and thoughts. It's just like a rubbish bin in my life. I can say all I want here without fearing of anything. Maybe.... In future, when I read back to these post, I might even feel how dumb and simple mind I was in the past. I always like to do that. Recently, I just read my primary school's diary and I felt like a total kid. The way I saw things and the way I reacted to those things. I guess I'm just too naive when I was still a primary school kid.

Oh god, I actually wanted to like dump a little of rubbish here but ended up saying so many. Anyway, I think my life is really a.................. aimlessly one? I don't know how to put it, but I just feel that 我的人生失去了目标与方向。我觉得，我，现在需要寻找一个能让我努力去争取的东西。。。 所以，有谁可以帮帮我呢？

I'm going to re-do the post as promised. I'm someone who honor my promises! :D

Firstly, Wed, had actually planned to go out with Mandy and ZhiYi. Forgotten to where but in the end.. It just like.. Sua~ so yea. Didn't wanted to staayed at home rotting so I gave Ben a call. Well, he's always so damn super free for sure. HAH! And indeed, he was! YAY! At last, I don't need to spend my time at home like a loner. :))

Got up from desktop and got myself prepared. 30 mins later... He was here. But, I think I made him waited for like 15-20 mins. Girls! Well, just can't think of what to wear... In the end, just shorts and shirt. Didn't expect to go town. Sohai! Meet up with Joshua and Noel. They got new haircut! Which is like.. Not bad thou, but they don't want let me take picture! Rah! They copy me say they shy.. ~whatever~ Meet up and have lunch at a Jap restaurant. Not bad! :D

Shop around. Well, nothing much thou. Town like so sian alrdy.. Wonder why they always go town.. (Now I think I know why). Saw someone at 313 which I don't want to elaborate on. She's a bitch! So why spend my time talking about her? Joshua and Noel was hilarious at that point of time. Didn't know that they can become clown/joker too. Spend most of our time at TopShop and Zara.. The items there damn chio! But I can't afford, so nevermind. Noel spend a total amount of $365 at Zara on just a shirt and a bermuda. As for Noel and Ben, they each spend like $274 and $352 at just only shirts!! Wthhhh! That can be my one month allowance! -.-

Life is so unfair huh! Anyway, caught my eyes on a pair of heels at Zara! Shall save money and buy it. :D $286. How long am I going to take to save that much? Went to Epicentre as Noel wanted to get a Ipad for his niece as a birthday present! Okay, that's suppose to be a super damn big birthday present. Walked around and I'm considering getting a Iphone 4 for myself.. Should I? Asked Joshua for opinions and he said: 'You want?' Well, I guess I know what's he is thinking.. Yea, I'm not sure too. But I want to use my own money to buy, so that I'll treasure it more... Right? Walked around HMV and again, they spend a huge fortune at there.

Had Subway for dinner. Finally! :D They didn't want it but I just forced them to. I got my own ways too. (evil grin) Guess what? They sat down and down and one asked, why no waitress come and take orders? Well, it's a fast food restaurant! What do you expect? -.- Ordered and they said it's awesome! Well well well, who recommend it? :)

Thurs, met up with Belinda first for lunch at Deli. LiTing came and join us for the K-Box session. Then off to meet MrCheok and MrGilbert for dinner at NYNY. And MrGilbert was late! Super duper late that kind! LOLs! Ate and we all was like laughing so madly.. :D Then had a mini celebration for MrCheok cause the next day(011010) was his birthday. Sang birthday song and ate the cake tgt. After that, got a ride home from MrCheok. :)

Fri, met up with Mandy as usual.. Went for swimming. After that, had subway for lunch at Lot1.. Went to K-Box after that cause she wants to sing. Also went to library to borrow some books. Well, I'm a good girl.. what do you expect? Haha! :D

Sat and Sun, I actually forgot what did I do for that 2 days.. Wow! How Short Term Memory. -.-

Mon - Wed, JC1004Y Class Chalet! :D Super awesome! But it's actually kinda boring at first, however when more peeps come, it's getting more and more interesting. Took lots and lots of pics.. :D

I'm so tired now so I shall just do a short post since I've the urge to....